*~A Love Letter to My Daughter~*

****************THIS IS A LOVE LETTER TO MY CHILD, WRITTEN IN THE WE HOURS OF ONE SLEEP DEPRIVED MORNING WHEN MY GIRL WAS ABOUT A YEAR OLD IT BRINGS ME TO TEARS EVERY TIME i READ IT BECAUSE I REMEMBER EXACTLY HOW I FELT WRITING IT AND AS MAKAIA GETS OLDER THESE FEELINGS ARE INTENSIFIED*********************

My Darling Child, 

There are not enough words in existence to express how beloved and treasured you are! You are Mommy and Daddy's gift from God. You are a miracle Mommy never thought she would get, you have completed Mommy and filled up part of the missing piece of Mommy's heart. Daddy filled up the other piece. The day you were born was the best day of my life, and a day I will never forget. I remember hugging Grandma and Grandpa, and giving Daddy a hug and a kiss . I followed the nurse to the operating room. I had to have you via c-section because you were breech. Even as an inside baby you had a mind of your own and didn't want to cooperate. Mommy got numbed up and laid down and then they let Daddy come in. The medicine made Mommy feel sick so they gave her a different medicine to settle Mommy's tummy. Mommy was so anxious to meet you! Daddy had to keep talking to mommy because mommy felt like she was going to pass out. You didn't want to come out of mommy's tummy you tried to hide up under mommy's ribs. So Dr. Molsberry had to cut a horizontal and vertical line to get you out. Dr. Molsberry was finally able to get a firm hold on you and told Daddy to look over the curtain she said, " Alright, here we go! 1, 2, 3!" and out you came on August 27th at 12:19pm in the afternoon. I saw the tears in Daddy's eyes and knew you were here finally, safe and sound. The Dr. held you up over the curtain so mommy could see you for the first time. I saw you and the tears flowed and fell as I set my eyes on the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, you. Pure happiness and complete love and adoration for you. They took you to get cleaned up and to make sure you were fine, and I heard your cry, so loud and strong for a new little baby! You had lungs! and a good set of pipes! Mommy had to have surgery to sew up her tummy so they took you away and Daddy stayed with you every minute. You and daddy got to go up to the room we would be staying in and mommy had to go to the recovery area until she got feeling back in her body, but mommy pulled herself up and kept wiggling so she could get to you sooner! Finally I was on my way to our room, Daddy didn't want to let you go. Mommy was so nervous holding you but you fit on my chest like the missing piece of a puzzle. We stayed in the hospital 3 days, and while we were there we had some visitors! Auntie Melissa and Lyric, Grandma Chrys and Maija, as well as Auntie Rachel who still had Cousin Alecia in her tummy, Uncle peter and Uncle Donald came too. 

Everyone said how beautiful and perfect you were mommy and daddy smiled with pride. You decided you wanted to be a formula baby and would not latch when mommy tried to breastfeed you, even first born you did it your very own way. That my dear is the main part of your birth story. The day you were born Makaia you healed huge part of mommy's broken heart (the day mommy and daddy got married was the other event that healed mommy's heart). 

Makaia Kimberleigh-Rose, this has been the hardest, most challenging year of my life! Yet it has also been the most special, educational and rewarding. You have taught me that life throws curves at you and sometimes there is no choice but to adapt and make the best of every situation even when it seems hopeless, because right when your at your lowest is usually when God gives you the miracle. You have taught me I am much stronger than I ever imagined. You have taught me to be selfless and put others first. You have taught me to enjoy the smallest things because in this life it doesn't matter how much money or material possessions you have. The little things can be your hearts biggest treasures, and with out family and friends the world is a big lonely place. 



You have taught me : 

• To be patient
• To listen first and speak later
• That being quick to anger is to be foolish
• To always give hugs and kisses through-out the day
• To tell the people in your life how much you appreciate them (even if they get you a diaper)
• No matter how big the bed is it is NEVER big enough! But it puts a smile on my face to wake up and see your stinky little piddies in Daddy's face and your head in my armpit.
• Being a step mother to your big brother Payton is just as important of a job as being your mommy and that I have plenty of love in my heart for you both, for always.
• There is no force great or small, on heaven or on earth that will keep me from being there anytime you ever need me.
• What a mother bear feels like and I pity anyone who ever hurts you or harms one precious hair on your head, because I will gladly spend the after life paying for my revenge, as long as you are safe and sound.
• Life is to short for grudges and to repair as many bridges as I can because they really don't matter anyway.
• That I want to be your role model, and respecting your elders is still the way to be in this world.
• That compassion goes a long way even thought it may not seem like it.
• Not to give up and keep fighting for what you believe in
• When you say, " I'm sorry" mean it and fix the problem.
• Listening is the most important thing we learn and sometimes it can be the defining factor in someone else's crisis.
• It's OK to put yourself out there for your own personal growth and that you will never please everyone.
• To do what makes me happy! To not hold back or make excuses, because you will always wonder what could have happened or how all your dreams just might have come true, if you were only brave enough to try!
• LOVE with every part of yourself, because you don't want to loose some one and wonder if they truly knew how you felt about them or what they really meant to you.
• Hold every good memory close and release the ones that hold you down and poison your soul.
• To let go of the hurt and sorrow and focus on what there is to be thankful for each and everyday, because the traumas and heartaches from the past do not define the future! Cast it and live life for family and love.
• To love myself and to really concentrate on being the best mommy, wife, sister, cousin, daughter and person I can be! People will always have an opinion, but I don't have to let it break me anymore.
• That I am worthy of love and happiness
• That my scars are from a life well lived and they are gorgeous reflections of how far I have come.
• To be value others needs over my own wants and needs.
• To be more accepting and that I don't always need to be in control, I can share it.
• That being chosen to be your mommy was the best thing that could have ever of happened to me. 
• You have helped open my eyes to so many things, things I have hid from and things I have to face so I can be the best mommy that you, my sweet daughter deserve. 

I love you more each day, with each breath you take, and each new thing you learn. You are the absolute joy of my life, my heart. The Love I hold for you is simply indescribable, because NO words can fully capture the depth and vastness of this love. You have shown me what it is to love to the highest degree. There is no mountain, desert, or ocean I wouldn't cross for you, no amount of pain or suffering I wouldn't bear or endure for you my child. 
I love you so much I couldn't have asked for a better child than you princess. You are perfection to me. 

I love watching you learn new things and to see you exploring the world around you through such wondrous and innocent eyes. 

Makaia you made all my dreams and prayers come true. I am rebuilding my faith in God because I truly believe he sent you to me at the worst point in my life and even though I didn't know you were there for 7 months, after I found out about you things suddenly became more clear. One of the biggest things you did even before you were an outside baby, was make Mommy and Daddy realize just how much they truly did love each other, and we got back together and Daddy took very good care of us while you were in my tummy. He still does because he stays home and teaches you so you don't have to go to daycare yet!

I believe God saw my pain and heard my hearts sorrows and he answered my prayers in the form of one angelic little girl, given to us to love and to guide and teach the ways of love, compassion, truth, and understanding. 

I made God the promise I would do right by you, dearest daughter, and I will. He is listening and does answer your prayers, maybe not on your time, or daddy's or mine, but he does and because of you I also found the faith I had lost so long ago. 

Makaia Kimberleigh-Rose, you are a sweet gift given to me in my darkest place in life, you saved me and showed me what it is to love again and that prayers do get answered in time, to keep holding on to that last bit of faith even when you feel all is lost. 

Thank you for giving me a love for life again, a reason to be the best mother and person I can be. 

Thank you for your unwavering trust and love. Thank you for opening my eyes to the beauty in the world that I had forgotten, for the beauty I have found again in myself and for giving me the extra motivation to fight for my dreams, because I will teach you to fight for what you believe in and to dream big and never give up hope and you have already won as long as you try and give it your all. 


The future holds big and beautiful things for you my sweet little Makaia, and you deserve nothing but beauty and excitement in this life - Daddy and I will do everything in our power to give you as much knowledge and building blocks to grow on, but only you baby-girl will have the power to make your dreams come true. Remember to always trust your instincts and do everything the best you can and we will always be right there behind you supporting and loving you unconditionally. 


Love infinity, 
Mommy